i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
