if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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