broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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