ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
