Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize