I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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