My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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