Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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