pop tarts are not kleenex
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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