i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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