Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
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