Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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