STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you traded sex for a burrito?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
