god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
