Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize