I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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