I am puke
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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