The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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