help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
