the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize