Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
