What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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