And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
