my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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