that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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