dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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