did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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