Your mouth is God's brothel.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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