My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
