Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
