I think im going to throw up on grandma
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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