She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You're earring is so big in my mouth
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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