Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish you could order shots online.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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