The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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