Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
