dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize