Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
