But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
