we have pet lesbian snakes
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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