Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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