you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
