bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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