THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
