Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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