So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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