"it" just moved
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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