YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
