I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your cock deserves a montage
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
