Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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