I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
