Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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