a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I need water and some morals
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
