yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
