you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
