He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
